Well Friday is here and my regular appointment is this afternoon and my baby shower is tomorrow! I get really excited about the shower until I start getting in my head wondering if I’m going to have to give it all back…. That part terrifies me.. for about the past day that’s all I have been thinking about.I try not to.
Each morning my prayer has consisted of “please heal my son Lord and please let me keep him”. I read a blog of someone whose daughter had hydro and she continual prayed that her daughter would cry really hard when she had her. Lately that has been in my prayers too… I just want to hear that sweet scream. I cant wait to see him and hold him, and tell him I love him.
Yesterday Patrick asked me what I thought my first words would be when I hold him. I told him I would probably say I love you and then awwwee his head is so big. LOL I really need to not focus on the size of his head and just pray that we will be able to keep him. I am glad though that I can hold him and be with him for a whole day or two before he has surgery. we are thinking about taking him across the street to Saint Jo’s after I’m all healed up. I hear that that’s the best Nicu in Colorado.
I would really like to be able to go to Boston and have everything done there! they are the #1 tied with John Hopkins for pediatric Neurosurgery. I just want to give my baby the best chance possible. Anyhoo I have to get to work.